Lessons In Trust - An Old Jewish Tale

Recently my wife & I watched a movie that teaches three lessons in trust. At the beginning of "Then She Found Me" the lead character narrates an old Jewish tale about a father & his son. It goes something like this.

One day a man & his son came to a stair well. The man pointed to a stair step & said to his son, "Step up here, then jump down. I'll catch you."

Nervously the boy looked at his father & said, "But I'll fall & get hurt."

The man assured his son, "It's OK, I'll catch you."

So the boy stepped up & jumped into his father's awaiting arms. The boy repeated this process a few times from progressively higher steps.

Each time the boy landed in his father's arms he felt warmth, love, & safety.

Then the boy reached a particularly high step & jumped. But this time the man abruptly stepped back letting his son fall to the floor.

Now bruised & bloody the child looked back at his father in confusion as the man said, "That'll teach you."

In confusion we proceeded to watch the movie. As we were preparing for bed my wife asked me if I understood the connection between the movie & the fable. I didn't. This morning the answer came to me.

Each character in the movie told lies of various sorts & did different things that hurt their loved ones. Eventually, the lead character revealed a clue.

She told the man she now knew she loved both of them would hurt each other along the way. Sometimes it would be accidental, other times it would not. None the less, she was willing to accept that as part of the relationship.

So the moral of the old tale is:

1. No One Is Perfect - whether intended or not, from time to time everyone hurts their friends or loved ones.
2. Learn How To Forgive -no one need be a door mat. However, the ability to forgive brings us inner peace.
3. Infractions vs. Crimes - we must learn to separate what bugs us from truly self-centered sins. Most mistakes aren't worth throwing away a relationship, while some demand it.

When we learn the three most important lessons in trust: no one is perfect, forgiveness is essential, & we must pick our battles, then we elevate trust to the level of a gift. Then we can move on to building other relationship development skills.

I appreciate you,

Bill Tessore